Due to a pending rehearsal schedule, we gathered who we could from our cast and charged, full-speed, into the script regardless. So I was the appointed reader for the missing actors today and switched from one character and gender, to another. The immediate dive into the emotions and conflicts of these personas was tiring but quite effective in exercising impromptu connection with my emotional resources. Reiterating to the director that I, quite frankly, welcome having my "a*& kicked" into shape, she proceeded to draw from that well.
I stifle emotion quite regularly in my own life. Admitting this is the first step to recovery, I suppose, so I was very happy with the praise I recieved for my work today. Perhaps it was foretelling some real-life heart to hearts not only that night but for the upcoming performances with other troupes. And in addition, in hindsight, the last few weeks have done more for the exposure of my heart than any other in quite a long time. It is all preparation, so well-rounded-even divine.
No heightened joy or profound state follows this but certain unfolding of past revelation or vision. I mentioned to my director on the way home, after some personal conversation, that I had always desired spending days in a theatre and at rehearsal-and I did. This was the beginning, I thought! Before we set off to our own rehearsal, I met up with my director who was costume designer for another production, at a theatre, where a mutual friend had a lead role. It was there I realized where I was; I was sitting on a stool, running lines with our friend, as they painted sets. All day doing theatre! On a weekday on top of it all! This is what I was doing with my days and in the weeks to come, there will be more (with pay, to top it all off!) GOD IS GOOD.