Floored again by the blessings bestowed by God, I am eager to forward them on. I had been renewed by a two hour phone conversation with a childhood friend who has found his own nitche in the entertainment industry and later by an email from a cast member that expressed admiration for my characterization work during rehearsal. To top it all off, and what sent my blood surging, was a sermon on the topic of calling.
At the height of my understanding of the preacher was the concept that one's deepest desire wasn't always synonymous with what we really want to do. As a private and anyalytical person, as once stated in my previous entries, expressing emotion openly is something I least desire to do. Acting requires the full expression and vunerability, even tapping into personal resources, to produce the desired outcome. I don't generally want to do this and often find myself fighting the process until I see a performance day approaching.
Having been placed in several personal circumstances where being emotionally honest has come to mean to me, the practical and even right thing to do; I find it the right thing to be. In artistic avenues, I am grateful for a director and fellow actors whom I can trust in "baring a soul." By allowing myself to push through the thing I least like to do, I am uncovering the calling and enjoying the privelege of what has become so fulfiiling. Now go ahead, ask me how I feel!