The word, critic, has some negative connotations associated with it and so I try and downplay the word as I describe some experiences. The point and truth is that I have greatly enjoyed learning to critique and the reason is that I've finally learned to accept, master, and recognize my own shortcomings. I even say shortcomings in a positive frame of mind, knowing that those things I lack spark the earnest desire to strive for the desired outcome.
Last evening, I attended a dress rehearsal and was happy to have with me a good friend who accepts my comments for what they are, thoughtful observations and not empty put-downs or insults. This particular show was one which I had, unfortunately, missed the audition for. And surely growth is measured by the sincerity in seeing others succeed and that I did. I was amazed by the actress who portrayed the character I had aspired to play and felt, at that moment, that no one else could do it justice-well, certainly not I. The rough eges were hardly noticible and due to what I could only percieve as a bit of nervousness from the main actor and as time progressed, I had forgotten that I at a rehearsal. A tear managed to escape my eye and I was deeply moved by one scene in particular.
My talents have been comfortably at rest while visions emerge and my pursuit of choice is to return to the beginning-dance. For my age, my body is still quite limber and generally free of pain or restrictions and there has been a strange longing to move about in physical expression now that my voice has been freed for years as a speaking performer.