I've heard it said that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Although my pressing intentions don't warrant such a dramatic statement, however, I have come to where the road meets the rubber and feel as if I am at an impasse and it "feels" like hell. So I'm taking a step back for a moment to return to the joy I had this morning.
A power outage had interrupted my anticipated preparation time for an upcoming audition and yet my roomate and I had quite a laugh about our inconvenient condition. I awoke with such promise and intent on tackling that audition material-just as soon as I finished my work on school and financial aid applications and budgeted my finances in order to pay off medical bills-both took up my entire day until the burden of it all led to an teary outpour and even honest recognition of my own mediocrity and insecurities.
I have said before that I "intend to" travel, go back to school, add to my monologue archive and until this past, I have put actions to my words but oh, how far I still have to go and today all the efforts exhausts me. May I go home and find the joy again in reciting a piece of literature and not see it as something "I have to do," and if I carry that attitude then may I put it aside for awhile until I see it through the eyes of love.