For a moment of silence and the benefit of peace, I saturate in the pain to concentrate on possible pleasure and fight the threat of indifference. It was what I was unfortunately taught in my upbringing; the turning of a blind eye, the cowardace and the self-absorbtion. Boredom is the result of not fighting for life and truth and dare I say, responsibility. To retreat into restoration and encounter purity was my salvation and here I long to extend it out to others. But today I retreat.
But for the safety of my soul, I walk with caution by what I encounter and what I expose myself too. Why is this important in art? It is the artist who risks becoming most corrupted because his consciously, is at times, highly elevated (although not of greater significance than any other human being) and therefore must consider carefully his expressions. I am all for catharsis when the outcome is goodness. And so I do this today with much reflection and confusion, doubt, fear and trembling. I seek to find my life anew, experience the loss of the strongholds, and reveal it in my art.
Playing the recluse for a day, I stir the pot of mixed emotions to uncover the truth through much prayer, rejecting vulgarity and emphasizing God for the little I understand of Him. I seek the higher ground and bravery to love and create as He intended the artist to do by projecting beauty and love eternal-I feel alone in this desire.