To my dearest Robbie,
I think we need some space.
Please excuse my timing
dot-dot-dot, smiley face.
You see, I woke this morning,
prepared to walk on air.
But realized that you cramped my style,
as I crimped my hair.
You're just not that same person,
the guy I used to know.
I'm not in love with "Robbie Now"
but "Robbie Seven Years Ago"
You could have been in Motely Crue
or David Lee Roth's replacement.
But instead you sing while people chew.
And you live in your grandma's basement!
I hope this note is something
that you can rise above.
Deep down you weren't in love with me,
you were just in love with love.
And so it's best we end this
before we even start.
Signed your pal Linda.
The "i" is dotted with a broken heart.